10 things to remember when you feel like you’re failing

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It’s tough when you’re down and you feel like getting back up again is more effort than you can muster.  There have been plenty of times in my life, business and relationships when giving up appeared to be the best option. 

The truth of life is that it will test you. It will ask you over and over to keep demonstrating your commitment, to show just how bad you want something. Why is it like this? Because life requires you to grow. If you’re not growing you’re dying and so it needs you to keep learning and evolving as a human being. As you strive for something better, something more you will have ample opportunity to pick yourself up again and keep moving forward. 

But nobody said it’s an easy ride, and so here are 10 things to remember when you’re in the thick of it and it all feels too hard. 

  1. Failure is an event, not a person. 

Zig Ziglar is reminding us in this that just because we failed at something, doesn’t mean we are a failure. Separate your identity from the events in your life, they are not you. Who you are is someone who is trying, putting in an effort and learning, not the outcome of a particular event. 

2. Every little step counts

As long as you are putting one foot in front of another, you are moving toward what you want. It can feel like you are stuck but 99% of the time there’s another move you can make. As Tony Robbins says, “if that doesn’t work, try something else, and if that doesn’t work, try something else and if that doesn’t work, try something else.” You get the idea right?

3. Be true to yourself

Strive to live up to your own desires and truths and not the expectations of others. It’s hard to succeed at something you don’t believe in. 

4. A moment in time is just a moment in time

Don’t define yourself by your current circumstances. It’s not an indicator of what you are capable of. There’s always more to learn so pick your path and keep growing. 

5. You are in charge of the internal dialogue

Human beings are meaning-making machines and we love to tell stories, even to ourselves, around what it means. What story are you telling yourself? Is it helpful? Perhaps it’s time to tell a different story that’s more supportive of your success and doesn’t make you feel like crap.

6. Open up to the lessons

The same lessons will keep repeating in your life until you learn them. Look for the lessons so that you can evolve and move on.

7. Ask what’s working (and do more of it)

Re-direct your focus to what is good in your life and what makes you feel happy, joyful, alive, grateful, or connected. Give your time and energy to those things and watch how life begins to flow.

8. Today and tomorrow are connected

Giving up today means you are giving up on tomorrow. Do you want to stay in the game? I’m sure you do, so take a deep breath and do something, even if small, to keep going.

9. Be courageous

Obstacles present you with an option either to face the challenge and grow through it or keep hiding from what is holding you back. Be ok with the discomfort and decide that your wants are bigger than your fears and doubts.

10. Keep it simple

Your big dreams can feel too difficult to achieve unless you break it down into manageable size steps. Fuel a sense of achievement by setting smaller, simpler goals that are moving you closer to the big outcome. 

You’ve got this! When it feels like failure, remember you are an amazing human being on a unique journey. Think of how far you’ve come already. 

Want to learn more about setting yourself up for a feel-good life? Check out our courses and retreats at www.outwiththeordinary.com or jump into the free Facebook community: Out with the Ordinary – Women uplevelling their lives.


Meet Melissa Kay 
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Out with the Ordinary Retreats and Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. 


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